Some individuals leaving a marriage cannot wait to begin reinventing themselves and forging new lives. Others are daunted by the prospect of beginning “all over again,” often with added responsibilities such as house payments and childcare. Whether you are approaching the end of divorce proceedings with enthusiasm or trepidation – and even if your divorce proceedings are recently concluded and you are wondering what comes next – there are a few steps that almost everyone can take after divorce to set themselves on the path to success. One of the most important of these steps may be defining what success itself will look like, and working toward that goal – both during the divorce process and after the divorce is final. If you would like to discuss your personal goals for life after divorce with an experienced Arizona family law attorney, consider scheduling a consultation with Sullivan Shick. Our experienced team stands behind each client, and we thrive on watching individuals going through some of the most difficult periods of their lives find renewed vigor as they overcome challenges and rediscover the people they want to be. Call (480) 719-2558 to speak with a member of our staff today.
Taking Time for Rediscovery
There is no single timeline for divorce recovery and no one way to recover from a divorce that will be “right” for everyone. The degree, the time, and even the type of recovery you need will depend on your own life and the unique circumstances of your marriage and divorce. Some former spouses may have a great deal of grief or guilt to process over the way their marriage ended. Others, even in an amicable split with a mutually agreed upon divorce settlement, may struggle financially in the first few years of the transition. Still, others will be preoccupied with the stresses of juggling parenting time schedules with other responsibilities as they adapt to life as new single parents. Keep in mind that reinventing yourself may be a process you go through many times in your life, not only after divorce but after many other significant personal milestones – expected and otherwise. Embracing the opportunity for reappraisal, redirection, and – crucially – rediscovery can make it easier to navigate these often circuitous journeys with grace and resilience.
Making Room for Big Feelings
Some individuals just coming out of a divorce will be eager to have the opportunity to put themselves first for a change. Others will be so unused to the concept that it feels overwhelming to consider. Newly single parents may feel tempted to throw themselves into making sure that the life they provide for their children now does not suffer by comparison to what the children experienced in their previous two-parent home. The reality in all these situations is that everybody, no matter their circumstances or the challenges they face, is better able to navigate changes and better able to contribute positively to the people around them (such as their children) when they make their own mental and physical health a priority.
Mental Health America recommends embracing the expectation that there will be some days when feelings about divorce take up more mental space and energy than others and making room for those days. When feelings associated with divorce are less pressing and immediate, those days may be good times to explore personal interests that got relegated to the background during the marriage. Talking with friends or family members who are willing to listen without trying to “fix” the situation or tell you how to feel may also help as you work through not just the loss of a relationship, but the practical changes associated with a major life transition.
Planning for Financial Changes
Almost everyone will experience some change in their financial circumstances after divorce. Even in a state like Arizona, where assets acquired by either partner during the course of a marriage are presumed to be “community property” and subject to equal division during a divorce, § 25.211 Ariz. Rev. Stat. (2023) makes room for some limitations and exceptions to this rule, meaning that if either partner can convince an Arizona family law judge that any assets should be considered “separate” under § 25.213, those assets will be excluded from the division of property, and the other spouse will not be able to rely on a 50% share of them as part of their total financial resources after divorce.
Additionally – and perhaps even more importantly – in many couples one partner has substantially higher current income and expected earning potential than the other. An equal division of the couple’s assets in this situation – even if few or none of those they have enjoyed as a household are excluded as separate property – will still typically result in at least a temporary economic disparity between the former partners, as the individual earning less at the time of the divorce will likely experience a sharp drop in income even if they receive an equal share of resources such as savings and investment accounts. While some types of financial transactions may be restricted during divorce proceedings, as the court works to determine the couple’s total shared assets and allocate them appropriately, spouses going through the divorce process can prepare for upcoming changes in their financial circumstances by opening independent accounts and preparing updated budgets to account for maintaining a separate household on a single income.
Designating New Agents and Beneficiaries
Since many estate planning documents are designed to protect assets and provide instructions for who should receive them if anything happens to the person who created the estate plan, any major changes to an individual’s financial situation are likely to call for corresponding changes to their estate plan. Provisions in a Last Will and Testament that refer to the testator’s spouse are invalidated by divorce under § 14.2802 Ariz. Rev. Stat. (2023), and the state treats a number of common beneficiary designations, such as those on life insurance policies and transfer-on-death savings or investment accounts, similarly. However, invalidating existing designations is not the same as replacing them with updated preferences. In the absence of an updated Will and other documents, a divorced Arizona decedent’s estate will be handled according to the state’s laws of intestate succession, which make no allowance for how the individual might have wished for their assets to be distributed.
From a personal choice perspective, it may also be a good idea to examine HIPAA authorizations, living wills, and similar incapacity planning documents after divorce. Married partners often name their spouses to crucial decision-making and caregiving roles, and it may be advisable to update the individuals nominated to fulfill these duties even if your split from your partner was entirely amicable. An Arizona divorce attorney from Sullivan Shick may be able to advise you on how to get started with these crucial updates.
Reinventing Relationships
If you had children with your ex, some of the first and most important relationship changes after divorce may be between you and your children – regardless of their ages. Remaining mindful of the fact that watching parents part ways can feel disorienting and destabilizing may make it easier to relate to their experiences, and making time to talk honestly with each child – at an age-appropriate level – can give recently divorced parents a chance to listen, as well as to explain.
Other relationships will likely change as well. The extended social network that consisted of both sets of in-laws and shared friends will likely shift. Friendships that were based on doing things together as couples may have to go through an adjustment period as you discover other activities and ways of spending time together. Friends met primarily through the other spouse may or may not stay in touch. Many recently divorced people instinctively experience these changes in the structure of their relationships as a series of deeply personal losses. In many cases, however, these adjustments can also be opportunities to develop new and richer ways of relating to people you may have known for years.
Support for Building a Life After Divorce
If you are approaching or navigating a divorce in Arizona, consider working with a family law attorney who understands that divorce is not the end of the road, but the beginning of the next stage of your journey. At Sullivan Shick, we emphasize working with clients to lay a strong foundation from which to build a new life after divorce. Reach out to our experienced and supportive team today by calling (480) 719-2558.