A woman praying for help and healing in her relationship, concerned after learning domestic violence truths and myths.

Domestic Violence Myths

There are often a number of misunderstandings and myths that abound regarding the term “domestic violence.” Cultural context and environment of upbringing, as well as other factors, may contribute to a skewed understanding of domestic violence, resulting in many domestic violence myths. Understanding these myths, and knowing the truths they misrepresent, may help one determine if they have experienced domestic violence. If you are concerned that you may have experienced domestic violence, consider contacting an Arizona family law lawyer at Sullivan Shick PLC. Call (480) 605-4880 for the Mesa office or (623) 915-0944 for the Glendale office to schedule a consultation with an experienced family law lawyer.

Defining “Domestic Violence”

Domestic violence is defined as any act that constitutes one of the following offenses when done by a family member or former family member, including spouse, blood relative, or romantic relation, by the Arizona criminal law Rev. Stat. § 13-3601:

  • A crime that endangers children
  • Homicide, murder, or manslaughter
  • Assault/Sexual Assault
  • Disorderly conduct
  • Harassment
  • Stalking
  • Emotional abuse

Domestic violence is an interpersonal crime, occurring between individuals in a relationship. Because of many factors, including cultural upbringing and socioeconomic status, a number of domestic violence myths can begin to form in individuals’ minds. The following five domestic violence myths are common misconceptions held by many individuals. Accompanying each myth, a corresponding truth about domestic violence is provided.

Myth One: Domestic Abuse is not Commonplace

Many individuals assume that domestic abuse is an uncommon occurrence. The idea that a family member or loved one might cause harm to someone close to them is difficult to wrap one’s mind around, but unfortunately, it is a much more common experience than we would like to think.

Truth: Domestic Abuse is Relatively Common

Around one in three women and one in four men in the United States have experienced physical violence, rape, or stalking by an intimate partner in their relationships per the Domestic Violence Hotline’s Domestic Violence Statistics page. Nearly half of both men and women have experienced psychological aggression from a romantic partner. Domestic abuse is a relatively common occurrence in intimate relationships for both men and women. It is not a fringe issue, but an issue nearly half of Americans will experience at one point in their life.

Myth Two: You Cannot Love Someone Who Abuses You

It is generally assumed that one cannot love the person who is abusing them. Loving someone who is abusive seems illogical. There seems to be no reason to remain in a relationship defined by abuse and hurt, but emotions are more complex than we like to admit.

Truth: Because of Emotion’s Complexity, You Can Love Someone Who Abuses You

Though it may seem illogical, one can still love the person who abuses them. This often leads the one abused to feel shame or guilt. Emotions do not follow the laws of logic as we may wish; they are out of our control. It is not only possible but common to still love someone who abuses you in a relationship. If you are concerned about whether you are experiencing domestic violence, consider contacting a family law lawyer from Sullivan Shick PLC to discuss your legal rights.

Myth Three: Domestic Violence Only Occurs in Low-Income Families

Often, domestic violence is assumed to occur only in low-income homes. This view is often portrayed in the media and has become quite common. Though it is true that domestic violence can occur in low-income homes, it is also true that it occurs in middle-class and upper-class homes. 

Truth: Domestic Violence Can Occur in Any Family

No matter socioeconomic status, ethnicity, religion, or age group, domestic violence is a possibility. One must be aware of the possibility of experiencing domestic violence in any financial or cultural situation. This domestic violence myth can cause many to not believe they are experiencing domestic abuse. Understanding the applicable parties in domestic violence is essential for maintaining one’s safety in relationships. 

Myth Four: Alcohol Causes Domestic Violence

A common domestic violence myth is that alcohol causes domestic violence. This is, again, perpetuated through the media, but it is not entirely true. Alcohol does not cause domestic violence. Domestic abuse is a choice; it is not the result of intoxication, though it can be exacerbated by alcohol consumption.

Truth: Alcohol May Exacerbate Domestic Violence, but it Does Not Cause it

Alcohol can decrease critical thinking and increase susceptibility to giving into violent inclinations, but it does not cause those violent tendencies nor does it force the individual to act upon them. Alcohol use must not become an excuse for the abuser. Domestic violence is a choice, even when under the influence of alcohol. 

Myth Five: Domestic Abuse is a Matter for the Family

Many assume that the domestic violence myth that domestic abuse is merely a family matter is true. They believe that domestic abuse must be figured out within the family and is not the business of the community or law. This idea is problematic, not only because it may cause more harm to individuals experiencing domestic abuse, but because it negates the illegality of domestic abuse.

Truth: Domestic Abuse, Being Illegal, is Everyone’s Business

Since domestic abuse is illegal, it is a matter for the law and for the community. It is not something to be kept secret within a family; it should be reported and dealt with according to the legal provisions available. Those being abused must feel able to turn to the authorities to receive the help they need. It must be clear that domestic abuse is a crime and is not a matter to be kept secret. If you or your loved one may be experiencing domestic abuse, consider taking legal action with the help of an experienced family law lawyer from Sullivan Shick PLC.

Concern About Domestic Violence

These domestic violence myths just scratch the surface of the manifold ill-informed beliefs about domestic abuse. Knowing that domestic violence is more common than typically thought, a possibility for people of all ethnicities and economic statuses, a choice even when affected by alcohol consumption, and a matter not to be kept hidden is important for relieving the hurting from their situations. If you or your loved one is concerned that you may be experiencing domestic violence, consider contacting a family law lawyer at Sullivan Shick PLC at (480) 605-4880 for the Mesa location and (623) 915-0944 for the Glendale location to understand all your legal rights.